We all swoon over the Alpha Males. I did an online poll last night, Barrons, Bones, Valek, Peeta or Edward. If you are familiar with these books you know who falls within the Alphas of Alphas. Those won. Barrons (Karen Marie Moning’s Fever Series) topped the vote by a landslide, Valek (Maria V. Snyder’s Poison Study) came in second, very nearly tied with Bones (Jeanienne Frost’s Night Huntress Series).
That gives you an Ancient Beast that kills indiscriminately, literally pisses on what he considers his property (can’t forget that happy time in the Silvers and the piss circles), makes ridiculously inappropriate sexual comments and is hotter than sin. Barrons met his lady love when she stumbles into his bookstore and he basically tells her she is going to die if she doesn’t go home. Next up is an Assassin, considered Enemy Number One to the country that border’s his own. Suspected child killer, known killer of the entire Royal family, in charge of executions and the spy network of Ixia. Valek meets the love of his life when he hauls her up in chains and offers her the noose or a food taster position. Then there is Bones, the English scoundrel and vampire. Bones was a prostitute and a criminal. He was actually changed to a vampire in Australia where he was serving his sentence. Bones has no problem killing, especially his own kind and if the price is right. Bones meets his wife when she tries to kill him and fails. He then drags her back to his cave and keeps her chained up until she agrees to work for him as a hired killer.
Nice guys right? So why do we love them? Is it that every girl wants to break a bad boy? Get them singing love songs and professing their undying love in public places? Growling over us maybe? Or is it only in fiction that we would like these men? If we had a real Alpha on our hands we would probably use words like: Stalker. Aggressive. Egotistical. Sex-crazed. Violent. Criminal. Wouldn’t we?
These are the traits that I think are a general requirement for fictional and real Alpha Males and if my husband (who I generally consider an Alpha, he is a Marine, even though they are not always synonymous) displayed these traits would I like them or not.
1. Self-Confidant
Yes. A man with self-confidence is great. Who wants a man that is saying things like “Does this make my ass look too big?”
2. Opinionated
Maybe. Depends on who he is voicing his opinion with. If he is always telling me what to do, because this is HOW he would do it, nope. Step off — I got this covered. I don’t mind a man with his own opinion though, just as long as it is similar to mine. (Isn’t that hypocritical?? Yup.)
3. Leader
Yes. Everyone should want to be proud of their man and a good leader is someone to be proud of, just as long as they know that when they step into the house, it is a co-leadership.
4. Decisive
Yes. Decision making is hard and when your man goes, “I don’t know what to do.” Respect flies out the door. I think this is a big one.
5. Fighter
Yes. A man that fights for what is his and owns it is a good thing. Now, there can be drawbacks. That man should also know when to use words and when to use fists. If your man is constantly using his fists, he might not be a fighter – he might just be a sadist.
6. Protector
Yes. Protection can also be pushed up there with fighter, but I think protection can come in many different ways. A man that protects his family and loved ones can do so by preparing them for the future and making sure no harm comes to them physically. You don’t have to stand over me with a gun, but if I feel safer when this man is around…a plus.
7. Beliefs
Yes. Have a belief system, morals, faith, whatever you want to call it. It does not have to be religious, it can simply be a moral code. But, it has to be a set of rules that govern his life and he stands behind them. A man that says he “is” a certain way and then contradicts himself by his actions or words is a huge turn-off and not an Alpha.
8. Admirable
Yes. People look up to your man, they look to him for leadership and association.
9. Sex God
Yes! God created this man just for you. Your bodies are completely compatible, everything he does is meant to give you the utmost pleasure. I don’t think I have to go into more detail. Where can I sign up?
Everything on this list are traits that I think a woman would want in her man. Am I wrong? So, basically fiction takes those traits and makes them larger then life and they spit out Heroes. Because, those traits all point to one word –> Hero
Paranormal Romance does seem to take the Alpha Male and make him so much more, infusing them with characteristics that might not be the best “female attracting” characteristics. But, that is because on top of Alpha Males, we also love the tragic and redeemable love story. The unattainable male that suddenly looks more “human” when he experiences the emotion of love.
I also think, we LOVE them or HATE them, depending on our line. Because you know. Every woman has a line.
That line that is within our belief/moral system that says, “if it is crossed you are out of my bubble.” Alphas in fiction tread this line constantly. The line between, protector and possessive, the line between powerful and over-powering. We have limits and we even put those limits on our fictional heroes.
The most discussed Male Hero and toer of said line, in paranormal romance has to be of the sparkly variety, Edward Cullen. His antics as a protector towards his love interest, Bella, have gotten considerable negative feedback. While some view his aggressive stance to protect her as understandable considering she is always almost dying, others view his behavior as Stalking and Psychotic. He watches her while she sleeps, almost two months of this before she even realizes that he is there. If I found out a guy had been doing this to me I would go ballistic. That is clearly stalker behavior. I had an incident where a boy would sit in the parking lot across from my apartment every day and that was enough to have me filing a police report. If he was in my room? Hell and No. Edward dictates who she can spend time with. He delineates that in order to be with him she has to die and lose all contact with her mother and father. Not that he pushes that on her, but it is in the cards. He also follows her around, tells her what car she can drive. Sabotages her vehicle when she tries to break away from his controlling nature, threatens suicide when he thinks she might leave him. What would you do faced with a male like this, if put in this perspective?
Where is your line? Or do you even have one? In what books have Alpha Males been waaay to much? Pushing that Edward Cullen psycho male behavior? Or do you think alpha’s like Edward Cullen are great?
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LOVE this article. I love a good alpha – and you totally nailed the core traits of one. Thing is, I don’t want growling. I don’t want possession, not like that. What I want is mutual respect. Not ownership. Except, perhaps, in the bedroom. I don’t mind being owned there
That’s the ultimate turn off for me. Be big, strong, heroic. But no one owns me. I think a lot of heroines have that attitude, but so many cave to the ownership, and that makes my stomach turn. Just a little.
Haha! This was great! I enjoyed every moment of reading it. It’s so true, we all want a man like that. Although, you’re missing one critical point, that he had a bad childhood which was disturbed and broken, so you can fix it and make it all better in the present.
Also, little dweeby guys can be quite cute. But that’s just it, cute. Yuh.
While I am not sure exactly where my line would be, I do love how Alpha Males in fiction often crosses the heroines’ lines many times without real consequences. To continue the example of Barrons: Mac thought that letting him tattoo her was an uncrossable line, but he did it anyway without her knowledge, and she later came to be happy about it, realizing that her line did not matter. Not sure why, but I feel like this is a slightly sexist way of showing how the man knows best, and the woman might as well just listen to him right away rather than put up a fight. Then again, I love Mac and Barrons above all other fictional couples, so I find it hard to see their relationship as sexist
Would I like to break a bad boy? I would totally love to break Barrons – in bed. >;)
I liked that Edward loved Bella so much, but yes, he was a bit stalkerish. I don’t think I have a line though, in fiction. In real life, I do, depending on the situation.
Great post. I only read the first of the Darkfever books and I didn’t like Barrons at all. Everyone tells me to keep reading. Same with Bones…I couldn’t get into him but there were more scenes that I liked him than I did Barrons. I do think that Alpha Males are fine…but stepping over a line is easy to do. And you are right…in fiction, the stakes and emotions have to be higher. Also I think you can be an alpha and not be a di—I mean a jerk.
Barrons. Ah, God. Jericho Barrons. The Alpha male of Alpha males. Do I love him? More than any other fictional male. Do I think I could handle him? Hells no. I think Mac may be the only person who ever could. That’s what I love about the two of them. And I also love how throughout the entire series he’s pushing her to better herself. Be stronger, faster, better. Ultimately, so that she can keep up with him. Be his equal instead of an inferior partner. And that is the exact quote I was thinking of when I was reading this! Because as awesome as Barrons is, he isn’t a hero. Or an anti-hero. He just is.
But in real life, you’re right. Alpha males like Barrons, Bones or even Valek wouldn’t be desirable. Why? Because we’re not Mac, Cat or Yelena. We don’t live dangerous lives or need a guy like that in our lives. Which means in the real world, while guys who protect you are hot as all hell, we value our independence. I think most of us want the same thing – Protect me, fight for me, love me. But don’t you dare make decisions for me. And that would never fly with these kind of guys.
Brilliant post! Though I’m kind of offended on behalf of Barrons, Bones and Valek to see them on the same list as Peeta and Edward. They wouldn’t survive two minutes with these guys :p
Ayana — no that was a brilliant and insightful comment. Thank you, I think it puts it all in perspective. I was trying to list YA male heroes too – even though I haven’t found one that compares. I know some people only read YA — I was trying. No one came back with many votes for them though….
Thanks
And no, there just aren’t that many real Alpha males in YA. Not when you’re comparing them to guys like Barrons anyway. But one I can think of is Daemon from the Lux series by Jennifer Armentrout. He’s very demanding and protective. Not to mention self-confident and opinionated. Sometimes he gets on my nerves with his arsehole act but he’s the best I can think of 
I haven’t read any of these and maybe i need to, but ummm Edward?? Yeah I would have let him die, that was an idiot not an Alpha at all. I didn’t finish the first book because Bella was just way too whiny to me and the movies drove me crazy after the second one I gave up. I’m all for alphas but not if they are anything like Edward.
The first YA alpha male that comes to my mind is Noah Shaw from the Mara Dyer series. And all of the hate I see directed towards that series is for exactly that reason. Many people feel that his and Mara’s relationship is unhealthy.
I definitely consider myself to be a feminist but I can’t help but be attracted to the fictional alpha male. I think it’s different in real life for sure. Maybe that’s why readers tend to be harder on the YA alpha male. I think people often assume that all YA books are meant to teach some kind of lesson and that the MC should be a role model. Readers don’t seem to have that same expectation for adult books. I can understand both sides of the argument.
Great post. Leaves me with much to think about…
Fun post!! I married an Alpha male too, but he’s not weird or anything creepy…he just has a very strong personality, no peeing on anything…lol. I think the overboard alpha in fiction is fun, its hot and I like to imagine it…in books…where they can stay……and I can go back to real life.
One of my favorite alpha-bad boys is Travis from Beautiful Disaster, oh my gosh he’s like a walking dickhead but everyone wants to make out with him..or save him
I typically dislike Alpha Males. I avoid them in real life, and I really, truly prefer Betas. Give me a heroine who can hold her own and doesn’t need a handsome prince, any day!
My boyfriend is a bit of an Alpha Male. Like your husband, he is military, well, ex-Military. He was an Air Force Pararescueman. He exhibits a lot of the Alpha Male traits in your list. He, of course, does not go overboard to exhibit psychotic behaviors. I have never liked Edward of Twilight. He was a stalker and emotionally abusive. I don’t even understand how anyone thinks he is dreamy. GAG.
I really enjoyed this. I agreed with all of your points; I think the most overlooked one would be “decisive”, but I feel like you hit the nail on the head. One of the things I love most about my husband is that he is so confident (another of your points) and decisive. Even if I have no idea what to do, he is always there to be the strong one. I feel like I’d faint from shock if he ever said, “I don’t know what to do”. There’s just something so sexy about the way he takes charge of situations. I also agree that Edward’s behavior would have creeped anyone out. I can point out someone who makes him look sane though – Christian from 50 Shades of Gray. He takes the control freak issue to the max and I have to wonder how anyone would desire to be in a relationship like that. It’s one thing to be an alpha male who takes care of the woman, is protective, opinionated, etc., but the relationship in that book reminds me of those episodes of Maury with the husbands who refuse to let their wives leave the house and won’t let them talk to anyone. Scary. So yeah, Christian Gray = TOO MUCH. Way, way too much.
While , in real life, I’m all about the nice guy, the nerd, in my books, I lust after the alpha male. That guy who takes charge, who is a bad-ass and doesn’t take any shit from anyone but who turns into a marshmallow around the right woman (not every woman, just the right one). Alpha males, FTW!
While I adore Alpha males like Barrons (thanks for the eye candy!) and Bones, take away the supernatural aspects to them and I’m not so sure they’d have the same appeal in real life…well, at least not for me…it would be a little too much to handle. Bad boys in books are better! Great post
It’s totally the sex god part for me. LOL
I married an alpha too andI totally empathize with the fictional heroines when they get frustrated with the heroes, lol. One of the main things for me, is being opinionated but not letting the alpha’s opinion completely roll over the heroine’s opinion.
I just requested Poison Study from the library – Valek sounds delish!
I LOVE this post. LOVE LOVE LOVE this post.
I also LOVE me Alpha males! Barron, Valek, Bones… yep love them all.
I could actually stand for my hubs to be a little more Alpha
I think what makes or breaks it for me isn’t the man, it’s the woman. If she is strong enough to handle the over-the-line male, fine by me. If she can’t, it bothers me.
Funny coincidence, I blogged about almost the same thing a day before you here: http://www.thevampirecode.com/category/diary/
under the headline “Toxic Boyfriends”. Loved your post. As for alphas vs betas, I think a balance is always the best option.
I agree with Tara. It isn’t how the alpha male acts that decides whether or not I like him, but rather how the female reacts to it. I like my fictional females to be just as alpha as the males. I want them to be oppinionatedand possessive and sex goddesses. The combination and clashing of the two personalities will make me love both of them. When one character is weak and the other is strong, I’m almost disgusted by the relationship.
This is a great post, Rachel! I couldn’t stop smiling after you mentioned Barrons. Oh, Barrons, Barrons, Barrons. There were definitely times during the beginning of the series where I wanted to rip his balls off and feed it to him. But then those moments were almost always quickly forgotten and excused(?) for the hot and heavy scenes between him and Mac. I know there is certainly a line. But I have yet to draw it. When I read Twilight, I was pretty young and naive and just… I’m not even going to talk about it. All you need to know is that I didn’t think Edward’s actions were that creepy. If it wasn’t for everyone talking about how he destroyed Bella’s car, I wouldn’t have remembered it. Now, everything about Edward just sound disturbing.
I can’t speak for the other series, just Fever and slightly less ‘Alpha-y’ YA series. But I think what redeems it and makes it ‘romantic’ is the flirting and banter and the highly inappropriate but totally hot comments exchanged between the couple. It makes for a damn entertaining read that you can’t put down.
I’m with Jessica. I’ve met lots of alphas, even dated some. Always left a bad taste in my mouth. So I much prefer betas. But then I’ve been called an alpha bitch by many, so that’s the kind of heroines I write. No one needs to be rescued…and the man can be a man without having to be an alpha-hole.
My heroes aren’t wimps, but they aren’t pushy and opinionated either. And the sex is hotter when the heroine knows how before they start, instead of her having to learn everything “his” way.